Updated: May 19, 2020
(A/N 08/11/2019 I wrote this last year when I thought I knew things. Fight me.)
Can we just take a minute to gush over the perfection that is To All The Boys I've Loved Before?
Hi guys. Welcome to another brilliant blog. So, what's the tea?
I. Started. School.
I'm going to leave it there to chill, because if I start, if I start about picture day (which was today by the way and I had to take two times because half of my face was covered in a shadow) or pop quizzes (i can't even, right now.) OR THE FUDGING 9 PARAGRAPH ESSAY ABOUT A CRAPPING MR. BEAN VIDEO I HAVE TO WRITE IN FRENCH IN THE FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL, you would be reading this till tomorrow. But no.
Let's talk Noah Centineo.
(If you don't know who he is, GOOGLE HIM NOW)
Noah Centineo is now, officially, according to a number of articles, the heartthrob of the summer. I mean, why wouldn't he be? From being Peter Kavinsky to Jamie, he is killing it in the industry right now. Girls falling, boys bawling, he plays the kind of crush that you know. Not that people don't fall for century-year-old vampires, or singing basketball players or anything. The people that he brings to life, the crushes that he brings to life, are everyday crushes that you and I have.
The jock you admire from far. Your online crush. Okay, still don't get it?
Don't tell me you don't because you know what I am talking about. If you do, please click the subscribe button.
*cue the creepy face YouTubers give after asking you to hit a like*
Anyway, I know, from past and present experiences, that trying to make conversation with your crush and trying to move from the stalker behind the locker to a friend, is extremely difficult. If getting tongue tied is very common around that person, here are 4 ways to get over the zoo and get to the green pastures.
1. Look cute.
Now If you are like me and know that when you wake up, you do not look flawless, make some effort. I know everyone says if he/she really likes you, they'll like you at your worst. Yeah, sweetie? That's for after you start dating. Not when you're trying to get his attention. It's 2018, the year where girls have double standards and guys have triple standards. I'm not saying to put the whole Sephora store on your face. What I am saying is to at least brush your hair or put on some deodorant. Trust me, when you do the last step, you help everyone in your school.
2. Chew some gum.
If you have a crush on someone, always chew gum. Make sure it's not the watermelon bubble gum, but the peppermint, spearmint or some mint type gum. Because you never really know when a conversation with him or her might arise. Even a smile exchange.
Best friend Pop: Help a guy/girl out. If you have a piece of gum, and you see their crush walking towards them, give it to them. Screw 'But, my saliva tastes weird' if you don't give it to them, are you really their best friend?
3. Don't talk about the weather or something stupid like that.
I know tons of websites say that the weather is a great topic. It's not. I took this advice and my crush looked at me so weird, it was embarrassing. The weather is a crappy topic to discuss. Talk about a class or a test. Something both of you have done but together. A sport could work too. Anything but weather. And religion and politics. And don't talk sports teams if you don't know the lingo. It would be weird saying LeBron James was on the Raptors.
4. Be Approachable
Resting -something-that-rhymes-with-witch faces are good for the something-that-rhymes-with-witch girls who try to talk to you, but ain't very good for your crush. I mean it's nice to be confident and all, but don't take it to the level where your crush is certain you are planning to kill everyone in the school. I wouldn't know, so far I've had to hide a couple hit lists.
So, das it for today. and remember, it's only you that knows your feelings.
And your best friend.
Maybe include your therapist.
Or that online friend you share the tea for because you ain't gonna meet them in real life.